He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
