He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
