i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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