so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
