Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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