what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
two words...techno handjob
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
