she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
