just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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