I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
