that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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