You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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