I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
