I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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