I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
