Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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