Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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