Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
