You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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