You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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