I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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