You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You can't just leave with hair like that
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
