She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
