yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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