I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
