I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
