I love black thongs
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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