perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
