I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
