please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
