White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
