What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
