All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize