nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
