Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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