Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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