a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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