eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
