we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
