It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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