Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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