Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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