I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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