That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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