i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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