Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize