He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
