I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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