I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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