Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
