he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
