So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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