I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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