I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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