Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
