OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
