i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
COCAINE IS GR8
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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