Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
