IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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