I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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