so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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