you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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