We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize