I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
