Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
