I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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