do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
