we have pet lesbian snakes
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
