im six kinds of drunk right now
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize