when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
