plz talk dirty to me
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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